Sorority Secrets: "Phamily"

This post is a long one but I think it will be helpful! I realize that some of y’all may not be aware of sororities or may be confused as to how they work.  Over the weekend I became a “Big sister” in my sorority but before I write a post about that I wanted to give a little background about how Big/Little relationships work!

{Part of the Yacht Club Pham - we are actually missing a few, crazy right?!}

In every sorority, at least that I know of, when you join you are given a “Family” or as we like to call them in Pi Beta Phi, “Phamilies” ;) Some organizations assign you a family on Bid Day (the day you receive an invitation to join the sorority) others, like my organization, wait and allow the assignment to be a mutual selection process.  You go on “girl dates” and find a handful of girls you are compatible with, that you would want to hang out with and, in my case, feel comfortable texting in the middle of the night with questions. You get a “Big sister” and become their “Little sister”  - the Pham comes into play when you meet your “Great-Grand Big” and so on.  When I got my Big, Laura, I was welcomed into the greatest (and biggest) Pham! Every Pham in our sorority has a silly name, ours is the Yacht Club Pham (or YCP) the names were selected by the founding members of the phamily and have lasted for generations.

{My Great-Grand Big, Great-Great Grandbig and Big carry me through initiation}

To someone who is not in a sorority I can see how this would be EXTREMELY confusing, it’s a weird concept when you really think about it, but one that has been my favorite aspect of Pi Phi.  When I became a Little, I also became a Twin – which means my Big took two Littles instead of just one.  Callan, my Twin, is my opposite and, also, my other half.  We did not know each other well when we became Twins and the paring has worked out beautifully! Laura, our Big, and Caroline, our Grand-Big both went abroad last semester, only a few months after we had been placed in their Pham.  We stayed in touch through social media and Google Hangout (the best for large groups!) But Callan and I were really able to bond as we went out together, got to know each other and our New Member class, and navigated the rituals and traditions of Pi Phi.  Although we missed Laura and Caroline terribly, having them go abroad gave us an excuse to grow closer and, luckily, become the close friends we are today.  Callan is one of my very best friends and I am so lucky to be a Twin, it is a relationship I did not know I needed and am so happy to have.

{Me and my beautiful Twin Callan}

On the other hand, occasionally Big/Little pairings don’t work out like this. One of my best friends from home had some issues with her Big pairing because the girl was much older than her, not as involved, and she felt torn because she became closer to the other older girls in the sorority, more so than she was to her Big.  Their relationship is great now, and they are definitely closer than they used to be.  But, although some pairings don’t work out as well, this doesn’t mean that the relationship is a hopeless case.  Having someone in the sorority as a mentor is such a blessing, a Big sister is there to help you when you have questions, hang out when you are bored, and check in when you have a stressful week.  Even if you can’t find this in your assigned pairing, it is important to have this in some way in the organization, and I have seen it’s not that difficult to find in the unfortunate case that the pairing does not play out well.

{With my Big, Grand-Big and Twin}

I am so lucky to have such an incredible Pham, and an amazing Big who loves me and cares about me! She is so supportive of everything I do and, because I do not have a big sister in real life, it is so nice to finally have the mentor/sister relationship I always wanted (minus the fighting since we aren’t actually related!) Over the weekend I got my Little sister and became a Big sister myself.  If I can be half the Big sister Laura is to me, I know that my Little will be loved, supported, and well guided through her initiation into Pi Beta Phi and all of her future endeavors. 

{Can't imagine Pi Phi without these two!}

♥  Caro